The Worth Of My Life.

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An Attempt at Poetry Oct. 19, 2020

Is this my life?

Am I breathing underwater?

--Metric; Breathing Underwater.

 

I am afraid.

Oh God, I am so very afraid.

Why?

How?

Why???

I’ll tell you why .

 

It’s because of you.

I am afraid because of you.

You who calls herself “My Life”

You who keeps breathing in me,

You who can be so easily ended.

 

I am afraid,

Afraid that I will end you before I become what I want us to become,

Afraid that one of my scorned lovers will try to end you,

Afraid that you will try to end us when you finally realize I am not worth your time.

 

But you say I needn’t be afraid.

That you will always be with me,

Until the end of time, you insist.

But then, you are complicated.

One swing at my throat with a knife,

Then it’s over between us.

One mistake of staying late out into the night,

And a boy with a gun might end us.

 

But you still say I don’t need to worry,

You say that you will see to it I become what I want to become,

That you will see to it I finally become someone who is proud to have you,

That I will finally, finally embrace you,

Hug you,

Say that I love you,

See your worth,

See our worth.

 

But surely you can see how hard that is for me, can't you? 

To love you when I  feel like I don’t know you?

To be told that I should cherish you when I don’t even know what I am cherishing?

To be told that you are valuable when all “my life”  I have felt like I don’t know your value?

Surely, you must know. 

So tell me, how do you expect me to hug you, embrace you, see your worth? 

See our worth? 

 

by Amanda Nechesa 37

Comments

  • Fidelis Munywoki

    Sept. 28, 2020, 4:27 a.m.

    Meticulous 😋😋😎

    Reply
  • Oliver Mutekhele

    Oct. 1, 2020, 4:05 a.m.

    Amazing 👌

    Reply

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